Chapter 5

Tim and I were like all other siblings. We fought, we laughed at each other, and we protected each other…okay, he protected me more since I was a peewee and he was a tall boy. Mostly Tim and I bickered. We bickered about every single thing. I was right, he wasn’t. Or at least that is the way I saw it.
I am certain that he cared a lot about me; he just never wanted to show it. When mom and dad separated I cried every night. He would crawl in the bed beside me and just lie there. Occasionally he would say something, but mostly I just knew he was there.
Tim always made me feel safe. Even when he and I were young, after mom and dad’s divorce, just knowing he was there was comfort for me. I always knew he would do anything to keep me safe.

We shared a lot of good memories too. We use to wrestle all the time. He would have me laughing so hard, I could carry my own. Now, I was like a skunk though, once I felt like I was trapped, a little gas would always get me out of a bind. Every single time. And he never learned…which was funny in itself.

One time we were wrestling when Mom was at work. Mom did ceramics and had several pieces here and there throughout our apartment. We were wrestling and one of our feet crashed into a little girl she had, off came the head. We were scared to death. We carefully sat it back on top of the shoulders of the girl and prayed that Mom would not figure it out. Yeah, we were dumb, our mom cleaned all the time, it was just a matter of days before she would dust near it and off the head would come. I don’t remember getting into trouble but I do remember being very scared.

I looked up to Tim when I was little. He was such the big brother that I thought every girl should have. We were 11 and 8 at the time. He was my big brother and often times I felt like he was all I had. We had each other. It was the only consistent thing we had.

It makes me giggle to remember that at this time of our life, Tim was not Tim, he was Timmy.I loved my big brother, I loved Timmy, I love Tim, I loved him no matter what he was called.